Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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