They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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