C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize