I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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