i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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