She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize