you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize