Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I need to stop coming to work sober
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize