after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
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Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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