Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
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I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
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So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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