When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i think i have two assholes
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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