So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize