He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize