i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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