I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize