Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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