Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize