I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize