this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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