watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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