So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
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then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
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Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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