went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
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She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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