i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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