It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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