u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I want you more than these girls want KFC
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
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You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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