Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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