she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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