Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
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Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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