His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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