my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize