Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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