at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
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I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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