this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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