He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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