batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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