She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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