We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize