Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
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For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
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If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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