Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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