I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize