I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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