Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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