i think i have herpe
just one?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize