around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
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surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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