Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
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I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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