Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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