ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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