I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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