they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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