Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize